I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
