i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
