This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
