so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
