It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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