please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there's paper in my vomit.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
