so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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