I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
