I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
