I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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