FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
did i walk over a car last night?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
