I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
