umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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