Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
