he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
