I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
