i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
