Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
