dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
