If i come over, it means nothing
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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