you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
