people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
