And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
