I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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