HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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