new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
