I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
