if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
