I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
