First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
