Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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