I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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