Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
