Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
