oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
