so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
