i barfeds in our rink
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
