I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
