Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
