it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
