do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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