The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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