So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
