I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
