You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
