you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
not ubering you a puppy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
