I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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