we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
