I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
