Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My ass is underappreciated
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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